


is anybody waving (back at me?)

by joshmeatflint



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Based on Dear Evan Hansen, M/M, Modern Era, SPOILERS!! laFAYETTE DIES., so yeah laf and laurens are technically brothers, the soundtrack is lit go listen to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 02:25:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10401648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshmeatflint/pseuds/joshmeatflint
Summary: its alexander's senior year of highschool





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alexander hamilton as evan hansen
> 
> rachel faucette as heidi hansen
> 
> hercules mulligan as jared kleinman
> 
> martha washington as cynthia murphy
> 
> george washington (ADOPTIVE I SWEAR) as larry murphy
> 
> john laurens as zoe murphy
> 
> gilbert du motier marquis de lafayette as connor murphy
> 
> eliza schulyer as alana beck

"Alexander!"

_Oh my fucking God._

"Have you been writing those letters to yourself?" Rachel, his mother, asks, " _Dear Alexander H., today is going to be a wonderful day, and this is why-_ "

"I've begun one, mother," Alexander interrupts to make her stop bothering him.

"Those letters are important, honey. They will help you build your confidence.," She reminds him.

Alexander shrugs and hauls his bag over his shoulder. "I guess."

"Can we try to have an optimistic outlook? This year, we make a new start." She smiles, "I know! Why don't you go around and ask some kids to sign your cast?"

Yeah, he had broken his arm by falling off a large tree over the summer.

"Perfect," Alexander says sarcastically.

Rachel doesn't pick up on that, "I'm so proud of you already."

Alexander takes a moment to respond. "Oh...good."

Meanwhile across town, Martha Washington is having a bit of an issue with her two sons: one refusing to come to his first day of senior year, and the other, well, normal really. He just has an issue with the other.

"Gilbert!" Martha yells, for what seems like the millionth time, "It's your senior year. You're not missing the first day."

Lafayette, a French immigrant who Martha adopted sighs and says, "I already said I'm going tomorrow."

George Washington, her husband, pops in and adds, "He doesn't listen. Look at him. He's probably high."

John Laurens, another one of George and Martha's adopted children, passes by the scene and decides to add a comment as well, "He's definitely high."

"Be quiet John! I certainly am not!" Lafayette yells back.

"Excuse me!" George says, trying to stop either of them from lunging at the other, "John, go downstairs. Eat breakfast. Martha and I can take care of Lafayette."

"Thank God," John says, then proceeds to go downstairs for breakfast.

Martha sighs at Lafayette worriedly, "I don't want you going to school high, Laf."

"Perfect, so then I wont go! Thanks, mom!"

Even though that was a disaster, it was quite a surprise that Lafayette called her 'mom'. She expected it'd take a long time for either of them to start treating her and George as their actual parents, but it was fairly quick, and it took her by surprise.

George takes a look at the clock and sighs, "Interstate's already jammed."

And then John yells from downstairs, "Lafayette finished the milk!"

"I better head out," George tells her, then kisses her on the cheek, "I'll see you soon."

Martha gives him a smile, "Yeah. See you."


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander had just started off with the worst morning he could possibly have.

A chirpy, yet slightly annoying, ambitious student obsessed with getting into a good college manages to notice him. Eliza Schulyer, one of his few friends at school. Even though she was irritating at times, he could tolerate her. And then there was Hercules Mulligan, the son of a family friend, and the closest thing Evan has to a best friend, since Alana isn't one.

They both notice his broken arm, but neither of them offered to sign it, which didn't bother him at all because to be honest, he found cast signing quite stupid.

"Whoa, what happened?" Hercules asks, surprised.

"Uh, fell out a tree," Alexander replies simply. He isn't really up for telling them why he really fell.

"Tragic," Eliza says, shaking her head. "You figured out where you want to go to for college?"

"Dunno," Alexander shrugs, "Columbia I guess. Or Princeton."

"I really wanna get in Harvard," Eliza says.

"I'm sure you can get in," Hercules smiles, reassuring her.

Eliza returns the smile, "Thanks Herc."

Alexander looks at them, back and forth, back and forth with wide eyes. "A-are you, are you two..?"

Eliza squints at him, "What? What do you mean, Alexander."

Alexander pauses for a moment, eyeing them both for another second before shaking his head. "Nevermind."

"Ah," Hercules nods unconvincedly.

The bell rings and the students start rushing out of the class. Eliza says a quick goodbye to them, heading to wherever she needs to be as Alexander stuck with Hercules. As they walk in the hallway, talking about what they were going to do on the weekend, Alexander bumps into Lafayette.

"Mon dieu," Lafayette growls, "Watch it!"

"Sorry," Alexander mumbles sheepishly.

Then Alexander sees him. A familiar freckled face with long curly hair tied up into a bun. He saw what Laf had did and seemed to be approaching Alexander and Hercules,

Alexander feels his heart rate speed up.

"Hey," John says, "I'm sorry about him, he's a natural dick."

"Oh, it's nothing," Alexander shakes his head.

There's an uncomfortable silence between the three as Hercules stares Alexander down like he was an eagle and Alexander was his prey. Alexander ignores it though, keeping his focus on the beautiful creature in front of him that was John Laurens.

"Well," John starts awkwardly, "I have to go."

"Bye," Alexander waves as John is already rushing down the hall.

He turns to look at Hercules, only to find him giving him a sly smirk.

Alexander gives him a questioning look. "What?"

Hercules just slings an arm around Alexander's shoulders, pulling him closer all while that stupid smirk was still on his face, "C'mon buddy."

Thinking back to the past events, Alexander wonders if this is his destiny - to be ignored and an outcast for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so ill try to make the chapters longer after this


	3. Chapter 3

Alexander decides to write himself another letter. He starts writing, saying how he's given up on it being a good year. He also wonders if anyone would notice if he wasn't there, if he had just simply disappeared without a trace. He writes that the only thing he really looks forward to in school now is Hercules and Eliza, but mostly John, even though he doesn't know him that well. At least he was a face he didn't want to live without.

He decides to print it out, so he heads into the school lab to use the printer. While he was at it, Lafayette shows up quieter and a little sadder than he was this morning when Alexander ran into him.

"Hi," He timidly says.

"Hey," Alexander responds, slightly confused as to why he was so nice now.

"I'm sorry about that, in the morning," He apologizes, "I didn't really wanna be here."

"Yeah, me neither..."

Lafayette takes notice of his cast. "Hey, can I sign that? Maybe now we can both pretend we were friends."

Alexander lets him sign it. Lafayette takes a Sharpie out and starts to write something out. Just then, the letter finishes printing and it causes the printer to let out a beep.

Lafayette draws his attention to Alexander's letter when he finishes signing his cast. "What are you printing?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Alexander says, wishing he'd drop the subject.

"Can I read it?"

"Uh, I don't think it'll be a very goo-"

But it was too late. Lafayette had already snatched the letter out of the scanner and had begun to scan through it. Alexander, shocked and scared, made no move to stop him. He still had a broken arm too anyway, so what good would he do against Lafayette?

Lafayette looks up at him. Confused? Hurt? Angry? "Why is John in this?"

Alexander opens his mouth to respond and defend himself, but nothing comes out. He's blank and speechless. He doesn't know what to say. I mean, goddammit, now someone who has direct access anytime and anywhere to his crush knows that he likes him.

Lafayette doesn't say anything else. He storms out of the lab in anger with Alexander's letter because he thought it was meant to hurt him n some way. It leaves Alexander dumbfounded. What had just happened?

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Alexander is freaking out, because Lafayette hasn't shown up at school since that day. He's told Hercules and Eliza about it, and they're starting to get suspicious as well. They're at the cafeteria and they're silent, pondering about Lafayette.

"Do you think he's just embarrassed to show up after storming out like that?" Hercules suggests.

"Or maybe he's still angry?" Eliza joins in.

"Guys," Alexander groans, "Not helping."

Alexander is freaking out inside, both because something may have happened to Lafayette and that he still has his letter. Suddenly. the speakers started to transmit their principal's voice over the intercom, requesting Alexander Hamilton to get ~~his ass~~ to the principal's office.

He says a quick "I'll be back" to his friends as he makes his way out of the cafeteria. He wanders through the halls until he ends up outside where he's supposed to be. He sucks in a deep breath before pushing the door open, revealing two people who he recognized to be Lafayette's parents, John, and the principal himself. Martha is quietly sobbing as George has one hand on her back, trying to soothe her. He looks at John, who is emotionless. Not in a depressingly empty way, but in a way where she literally doesn't feel anything. 

"Alexander," The principal says, "Have a seat."

Alexander takes a seat, still confused. "What's going on?"

He lets out a breath, "Mr Hamilton, were you and Lafayette close?"

"Wait wha-"

George cuts in. "He had been found with a letter in his pocket addressed to you. We believe that it was his suicide note. He's never mentioned having friends before..."

He wants to say no, that this was all a mistake and that the letter was written by him and not Lafayette, but the Washingtons had seemed so broken over his death that Alexander couldn't do it.

"We were," Alexander lies, faking grief, "I...I had no idea he would do something like this to himself."

"Oh, honey," Martha says sympathetically, "How about you come over this afternoon and we can talk about it?"

Alexander ends up agreeing, and when he's free to go, he quickly goes to find Hercules, who was waiting in front of his locker.

"Yo, what was that? What happened?" He asks.

"I'll explain later," Alexander interrupts, "Let's get to class first."

So when they get to history, he tells Hercules what had happened. Hercules advises him to keep quiet and deny that he and Lafayette were friends, but instead that afternoon at the Washingtons, Alexander begins to fabricate a very detailed story of his and Lafayette's friendship after seeing how distraught Martha is over the loss of her son. It was quite depressing to see, honestly. Martha had loved him as her own son. He continues to tell them a fictional version of the day he broke his arm. He fakes that Lafayette was with him the entire day at an abandoned apple orchard where they supposedly hung out at a lot.

Alexander also says that he and Lafayette kept up a small routine where they sent emails to each other. Since this wasn't true, he asks Hercules to help him fake Lafayette's emails to him, when it was really Hercules who was writing them, with a little bit of Alexander's help and supervision.

At home, Rachel is reminding Alexander that he needs to start applying for college scholarships, but Alexander is too distracted by keeping up his fake friendship with Lafayette to take her seriously. She mentions hearing about Lafayette's death, but instead of lying, Alexander tells her the truth: they weren't close. In fact, they'd never really talked. Not until that day he took his letter.

~

Alexander is asked to come over again and he shows them Lafayette's "emails" to him. Martha's mood is a little bit heightened, happy that her son actually did have a friend, but George is a little disheartened when he sees that Lafayette had taken his family and his privileged life for granted. John, who was never really close to Lafayette, deliberately refuses to show any grief for his brother because he really didn't miss him because of the rude words he said to him daily.

They're in John's room sitting next to each other on the floor as John reads Lafayette's "suicide note". John notices that he is mentioned, and so he asks Alexander something.

"Did Laf ever talk about me?" He asks.

 _No_ , Alexander should say because he has no clue what Lafayette thought of him, but since it was his words John was reading, he decided that he might as well tell him all the things he loved about John.

Alexander nods. "He thought you were...awesome."

"He thought I was awesome? My brother?" John asks in disbelief.

"Definitely!" Alexander exclaims.

"How?" John asks, wanting to know more because Lafayette clearly never told him that he thought this way about him.

"Well," Alexander starts, "There's nothing like your smile. Sort of subtle and perfect and real. And he said, you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel."

"And he knew whenever you got bored, you'd draw stars on the cuffs of your jeans. And he also noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines," Alexander continues, "But he kept it all inside his head. He left it unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you. He couldn't find a way, but he would always say to me 'if I could tell her everything I see. If I could tell her how she's everything to me, but we're a million worlds apart, and I don't know how I would even start."

"Did he say anything else?" John asks again.

"A-About you?"

John hesitates, "Nevermind, I don't really care anyway-"

"No, no, no—just, no, no," Alexander quickly says, not wanting them to stop talking, "He said- he said so many things, I'm just- I'm trying to remember the best ones. So, um...he thought you looked really cute, uh, and it looked pretty cool when you cut your hair last year."

"He did?"

"Yeah. And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there," Alexander lists on.

"It's like I don't know anything," John muses, regretting the way he saw Lafayette.

Alexander stares at John. He looks at his face and dreams of what its like to be able to wake up every morning and be greeted by that gorgeous sight. John looked so cute, with the slightly oversized cream coloured hoodie and grey sweatpants he was wearing and his hair in a messy bun. He cant help it. He starts leaning in until their lips connected. For a second, John felt his insides explode with excitement, but then he quickly realizes what he's doing and pushes Alexander away.

"What the hell?!" He yells.

"Oh my God, John. I am so, so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I-"

"Just...leave. Alexander." John pleads, tears starting to form from all the pressure he was under.

Alexander reluctantly leaves without a word. He shuts the door behind him. John collapses face first on his bed and starts sobbing, because he wished he hadn't pushed Alexander away and told him to leave, but he couldn't ask him to come back and stay now. He was too late.

Alexander starts to leave the house in sadness and regret. He tells Martha and George that he should be heading home now, and they say their goodbyes as Alexander exits the house.

That didn't end very well.


End file.
